THE HOBBIT!!!

It's here! The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey finally came out today! I saw it at 3:30 PM today, and unlike most movies, I walked out of it knowing exactly how I felt about it. I've been building up to this review for half a month now, so let's dive right into it!

First off, you've probably guessed by now that I'm a huge Lord of the Rings fan. I keep count of how many times I've seen each movie, I have all the character bookmarks and Burger King toys, and I've been to two symphonies that performed the soundtrack scores. I even celebrate my anniversary with the trilogy every year; it's on October 26th, and I call it "Fellowfest." And if you still don't think that's excessive, check this guy out:

I've had that cut-out in my bedroom for almost nine years.

Bottom line, the Lord of the Rings trilogy is why I love writing and filmmaking, so when I heard that New Line was going to adapt The Hobbit...I was worried. With movies like the Star Wars prequels, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and The Godfather Part III out there, Hollywood's gotten pretty notorious for making bad follow-ups to great movies. I also didn't know what to think of them stretching it out to three films and incorporating subplots that weren't in the book. Now that I've seen it though, what did I think of it?

Well, I definitely liked The Hobbit. I just didn't like it as much as Lord of the Rings.

For starters, this movie has a much lighter tone. There's a lot more humor, it relies more on magical elements and less on realism, the villains and the action scenes are more cartoony in nature, and although there's a lot of emotional weight given to the dwarves' quest to reclaim their city, there isn't nearly as much at stake this time as there was in LotR. It won't be the end of the world if this quest fails. Don't get me wrong, The Hobbit still holds up very well as an action/adventure fantasy, and I don't think there's anything wrong with giving it a lighter tone than LotR. It just doesn't pull you into the world of the story as much when there's less drama.

I think a big part of that "problem" is the size of the cast. There were only nine characters in the Fellowship, so it was easier to flesh out each one and examine their relationships with each other. There are fifteen characters in Bilbo's group, himself included, and while the film does a VERY good job of making each dwarf unique, there's only a handful that you really feel like you know by the end. Heck, some of the dwarves never even get a line, so it's hard to get fully invested in everyone. Then again, there's nothing to hate about any of them, and you can certainly speculate a lot about their personalities judging from their character designs, so I do think you'd feel some sense of loss if any of them died. But here's the thing: since this is only a third of an adaptation, none of them do die in this movie. They just wander from one set-piece to the next without suffering any setbacks. At least LotR gave us some tragedy to deal with one movie in.

And that's probably my biggest hangup about The Hobbit. With the exception of Bilbo finding the Ring, it kind of feels like nothing happens in this movie. To be fair though, the same could be said about Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, so maybe I shouldn't fault this installment too much for that. These movies have always been more about atmosphere and spectacle than rapid-fire storytelling, and The Hobbit does have a lot of atmosphere and spectacle. I didn't get as immersed in it as I did in LotR, but I still highly recommend it. I'll give it an "A" grade. It might take a few more viewings for me to bump it up to an "A+" like its predecessors.

Good thing I plan to see it again within the week.

We must return to the city of Erebor! Our $#!%&er is full!

PS: Here's a commercial I made back in high school where my Gollum cut-out makes a cameo: BPTV Commercial - Gollum

Working and Writing

I was supposed to be off today, but I got a call yesterday asking me to come in to Michaels this morning and straighten up the ribbon and paint aisles. Those seem to be my niche areas now, so that's a really good sign. Getting paid for five and a half more hours this week was also very nice.

In other news, I went back to that company that I visited on Monday. I never got a phone call saying whether or not I'd been chosen to return for a personal interview, so I figured asking them face-to-face was the surest way to hear their decision. Turns out that they passed on my resume. I kind of figured that was the case, but at least now I know. Luckily, I'm still in the running for another job in Cranberry.

On the writing front, one of my college buddies contacted me the other day asking for help on a documentary screenplay that he's writing. He sent me some footage and basic info about the film, and he's trying to finish a rough draft of the script to send to me next. On top of that, Deer Lake, Love Hurts, and A Very Slagel Christmas have each sold a copy this week. It's pretty exciting stuff!

I've also resumed editing my other novel. With any luck, I'll be done by the end of this month and will start outlining and writing the sequel in January.

That's all the news for today. I'm working another midnight shift, so I'm trying to staying awake by editing and watching "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" Netflix is great.

Snow White and the Huntsman

I recently rented Snow White and the Huntsman from Netflix. I saw it once before in theaters, and I wasn't really sure what to think of it at the time. My feelings had nothing to do with the whole Kristen Stewart/Rupert Sanders scandal because I was lucky enough to see the movie before all that came out. Since that story overshadows the movie itself nowadays, I might as well get my thoughts on that out of the way first.

You see, I never quite bought that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson were actually dating in real life. The whole thing felt like a huge publicity stunt for Twilight, in which (according to the reviews I've watched) the two show no chemistry whatsoever. I don't know, maybe I've just seen Singin' in the Rain too many times. Bottom line, I didn't care about the supposed affair and breakup, and I have no idea what the status of their relationship is now. I know even less about Rupert Sanders, so I care even less about his end of the aftermath.


As for Kristen Stewart as an actress, this is the only movie of hers that I've ever seen, and I didn't hate her in it. That's because she was such a non-entity that she didn't trigger any emotional response whatsoever. In fact, that's how I'd describe pretty much every performance in this movie, so Stewart didn't leave any especially negative impressions on me.

And that's ultimately what I've decided about Snow White and the Huntsman: it's a non-entity. I don't love it or hate it. It's just something to stare at for two hours. The story is a confusing mess, the editing sometimes makes things even more confusing, and the pace is so rushed that you never have time to connect with anyone in the story.

There was an option on the DVD to watch the extended cut of the movie instead, but get this - when you select it, a message comes up saying that you can't watch that version on a rental DVD. You have to buy the movie to have access to both cuts of the film. I didn't even know DVD distributors did that. Can anyone tell me if the extended version is any better?

Anyway, back to the review.

For as weak as the script is, I'll admit it's a good twist to have Snow White sort of fall for the huntsman instead of the prince in this version. He's always been the more conflicted and interesting character of the two, and let's face it, he risks and sacrifices a lot more for Snow White than the prince ever does. I always wanted to know what happened to him after he decided not to kill her, so kudos to this film for exploring that. I just wish it could have tied up the love triangle instead of leaving it wide open for a sequel.

The only other thing the film has going for it are the visuals, which are extremely stunning and imaginative. I love that the queen turns into a flock of crows to get from place to place. I love that the trees and rocks in the dark forest morph into monsters that attack the characters. I love that the magic mirror melts and stands up to looks like a person underneath a shiny cloak. The only problem is that there's such a lifeless, jumbled narrative stringing all these images together that you're too busy asking questions to fully admire them.

It's also worth mentioning that this movie goes to a lot of lengths to look like a Lord of the Rings film. Seriously, there's a scene where Snow White is being chased through a forest on horseback by several knights dressed in black, and it looks like they took the chase with Arwen and the Black Riders and Photoshopped Kristen Stewart's face over Liv Tyler's. And just look at Snow White's battle gear at the end and tell me she didn't steal it from Gondor. I find it kind of interesting that Lord of the Rings is still influencing the genre so heavily eleven years after it came out.

And okay, there's actually one more thing this movie has going for it. I find Chris Hemsworth attempting a Scottish accent to be extremely funny. The harder he tries to sound Scottish, the more noticeable his Australian accent becomes. It's like someone put Paul Hogan and Craig Ferguson in a blender and their voices started battling for dominance.

That's not a knock on Hemsworth's performance though. He's actually one of the better actors in the whole cast, or at least he's one of the few who really tries to do a good job. And you know what? I admire him a lot for that. I don't know what it is, but there's just something about him that I always find very likeable.

No! That's not what it is!

...Although that certainly doesn't hurt.

So those are my thoughts on Snow White and the Huntsman. Overall, I say either skip it or just watch it once for a laugh. It's a "C" at best for this one.

Hopefully I'll be seeing a much better fantasy film on Friday.

RIP My Eight-Year-Old Flip Phone

Well, my cell phone died today. It was my very first phone, and I got it back in 2004. It didn't have Internet, it didn't have a camera, and it only had twelve buttons on the keypad. That made texting pretty annoying. The main reason I held onto the phone so long was because I just didn't feel the need to have all those other fancy gadgets. As long as it could call people, it was good enough to keep.

So naturally, on the day when I'm expecting a call from a potential employer, it stops working all together.

Actually, the battery just ran out of power and needed to be replaced. The only problem is that Verizon stores don't carry batteries for eight-year-old models anymore, so it would take about a week to get one shipped in. Since I've been eligible for a discount on a new phone anyway, I finally decided to upgrade. So here it is:

My mother has almost the exact same kind, so figuring out the technicals of it was fairly easy. I never heard from the company I went to yesterday, so I'll have to call them tomorrow and find out what the deal is. I also have to find a way to turn my old phone back on for a few minutes so I can transfer all of my contacts over to the new one. Batteries Plus might be the place to visit.

On a less stressful note, Open Mic Night went fine yesterday. We didn't end up performing "Bent," but I ended up performing "Lookin' Out My Back Door" by CCR with one of the guys in Jackie's band. There was some confusion at first since I didn't have a karaoke machine to time everything out for me, but all in all, the song went fairly well.

I also told a few people about my new Kindle books, so hopefully I'll start to see sales for "A Very Slagel Christmas." "Love Hurts" has already sold five copies!

It's about 9:30 PM now. I'm thinking of going to karaoke again tonight since I don't have to work tomorrow. Maybe I'll call ahead on my new phone to see who's going to be there...

"Slagel Christmas" available!

Alright! "A Very Slagel Christmas" is now officially available on Kindle! Here's the link to it:

"A Very Slagel Christmas"

~

After hitting it off in Jacqueline Druga's "The Nerdfly," single parents Joe Slagel and Emily Stevenson decide to spend Christmas together. Unfortunately, they have seven problems standing in the way of their happy holiday: their children. Joe's sons Frank, Jimmy, Hal, and Robbie are enough of a handful, but when Emily's mischievous brood joins the equation, families collide and hijinks ensue.

Can the Slagels maintain peace and good will towards their guests, or will this be their most disastrous—and hilarious—Christmas of all time?

~



I spent most of today working on the cover for another book. The book isn't one of mine, but it's an old favorite, so I'm petty excited to be working on this. I'm done with the line art and am in the process of coloring it in Photoshop (an extremely tedious process), but it should be finished tomorrow.

I also had that job "interview" this afternoon. It was actually more like an open-house lecture for several candidates at once. The people conducting it will decide tomorrow which candidates they want to bring back, and that will lead to an actual one-on-one interview on Thursday. Supposedly, they'll call me with their decision regardless of whether or not they pick me, so I can look forward to some feedback tomorrow. I don't want to jinx it by talking about it anymore.

And that's that for today. I'm going to open-mic night again in a few minutes. This is the night that I'm supposed to help Drew and Noah perform "Bent" by Matchbox Twenty. Again, I have no idea what to expect. I just hope that somebody films it.

A Very Slagal Christmas

Okay! I've posted my third book on Kindle! "A Very Slagel Christmas" will be available for $0.99 in exactly twelve hours. Be sure to look for it if you're in the mood for something light-hearted and funny to read for the holidays!

Here's the cover I made for the book:

Special thanks to Jackie Druga for authorizing this tribute to her classic characters, as well as for all of her help in reformatting the text.

As for my test drive to the company in Greentree, it managed to go relatively smoothly. I had to do a few figure-eights on the way over because I couldn't tell exactly when my GPS wanted me to turn off of the main road. The way back was a little crazier, because the GPS kept telling me to make left turns onto roads that had "No Left Turn" signs. All that matters is that I know how to get to the company's building in a timely manner; I can waste all the time I want trying to find my way home after the interview tomorrow.

In the meantime, onto my next creative undertaking...

There were no more blackouts last night. I had several alarms set on my cell phone as backup, just in case. I go into work at 5 AM tomorrow too, then I'm supposed to be off from Monday through Thursday. I'll probably spend two of those four days catching up on my sleep from this past week.

My author website is still under construction. So is my next book cover, along with a few other projects. Since I don't have anything current to share today, I decided to post some links to our team's entry for the 48 Hour Film Project this past summer. It's a six-minute, black and white adventure serial about two crime fighters named Captain Stoplight and Beam Boy.

It has a very Adam West Batman vibe to it. We wanted to stay true to the era and make it as campy as possible.

 30-Second Trailer

"Adventures of Captain Stoplight and Beam Boy"

My main job was to film and edit the movie, although I do make a brief cameo in the beginning.

Posing with Jackie and Beam Boy

at the 48 Hour Screening

 

 

I also posted this animation from my college days on YouTube today, just so I could send a link to a production company that's looking to hire a graphics operator.

 

"A Nauseous Nocturne"

So that's all for now. I should have more to say tomorrow; I've got a job interview scheduled on Monday and I want to take a test drive to the place before the big day. Knowing me, finding the building might be more of an ordeal than the actual interview.